Dogs

Bloody god damn dogs.

Some of them are nice, thank you, very much. But others are child eating slavering maniacs desperate for a piece of meat and to give you a good dose of post traumatic stress syndrome.

Ahh...I scream as I try and stare down a pitbull (how can you ever stare down a pitbull?) It jumps up and down on it's massively muscley little silly legs 'woof..woof'. Well woof does not seem enough to explain the terryfing noise it was making.

I'm almost crying, when ah, ha. I spy it is wearing one of those plastic lampshade things on its head. Suddenly my 'shit, I'm terrified smell', gives way to a 'huh, I've got you bastard smell'. It can't bite me cause it can't get it's nose past the end of it's silly hat. My eyes narrow while the dog's widen. Triumphant, I also realise that my car door opens so it will be between me and the dog. Shaking I get the key in and climb into my skodacaddilac quick smart.

Smiliar tales like this are shaking newspaper stands across the country 'Man gets eaten alive by own dog', 'Child made into spaghetti string'. Yes see you get the point.

Now a nice greyhound...mmm!