The Great New Zealand Adventure or how to get busted
It's the furthest I've ever been...New Zealand. Me and Missgohome flying across great war zones and countries where they listen to bad dance music. A big bloody plane. The greatest thing was that there was a camera filming the take-off and landings, so we got a pilots view in a tiny tv in the seat in front!
What could go wrong? We landed in Dubai, a very strange place, lots of rolex adverts. We had a stop over and thought nothing of rolling a small joint and walking around the hotel grounds. And then back on the plane to stop in Malaysia - no gun crime there. I got hold of a local newspaper and on the front page was a report of a student getting his jeans and trainers stolen. But he'd left them outside his flat! A big hunt was on for the fashion conscious thief! They should live where I do, things get stolen all the bloody time!
So a quick fag in Australia (I'm always trying to stop smoking by the way!). And on for fantastic New Zealand. Me and Missgohome were almost pissing our pants in excitement, we'd been travelling for two days. And there is something to be said for breathing fresh air!
Finally we arrived in New Zealand. I couldn't wait to get off the plane, the views were breath taking, four whole weeks of pure holiday freedom!
So we 'touched down' (oh an americanism, how sweet!). Straight away, as soon as I was showing the guy my passport, this lovely dog starts sniffing around me. Ahh, they know! I pat the dog and tell the guy how dogs love me (see dog posting to come later!). He just pulls me over and asks if I've got any drugs on me. Well no sir, can't you see I'm a sweet British woman with great credentials!
Apparently not. They nabbed Missgohome too. And many thanks to her she stuck by me. We were wailing and crying while they searched our bags and threatend us with jail. It was terrifying. We got naked and were filmed all puffy eyed and sad for ourselves. What a tit!
So the story goes that we did get back to the good ole U of K. Much less triumphant than we'd left. We watched 25 odd take off and landings of the small tv and didn't breath fresh air for a week. Air conditioning is killing the world. On the way back those crazies in Dubai gave us a load of hassle and I prayed to the Lord to save my arse - thankfully he's a good man!
Missgohome and I off to Cuba in January, so watch out for more fantastic tales of Forest Trips and Missgohome!
posted by foresttrips @ 1:52 pm
3 Comments:
I once left my shoes outside a friends flat, because wed been playing football and i didnt want to muddy my friends new flat. When i came out they were gone, thougth they wernt high fashion items i think i bought them from argos, and it didnt make the front page in my local paper either.
Argos football boots boy
You WANKER, fancy leaving your football boots outside your mates flat, you were asking for trouble. I always carry an Argos plastic bag with me when I go to play football, so that I can wrap them up if im visiting a freind directly afterwards. Oh and by the way you didnt buy them from Argos, my mate works there and said they dont sell football boots. You may not of made the front cover of your local rag, but you did make page two of Lost Shoes Monthly.
Keep footbal boots safe boy
Once I hand washed my 'smalls' and hung them on the line outside to dry. I nearly forgot about them and when I went out after dark they had gone missing!
Shocking indeed!
I immediately dispatched the local coppers on a man hunt, describing the presumed thief as "an individual of average height, weight and intelligence, running off wearing matching bra and pantie sets and carrying many slinky nighties under their arm."
The next morning when I woke up I had not heard from either the police or the local birdcage liner. However, I did find my 'small's buried in my dogs newly dug hole.
He was very proud of his find.
heh
Miss Diva
Post a Comment
<< Home