foresttrips

So...the cancer...

2010-11-02T17:14:00.002Z

Hmmm, the Pet Shop Boys 'You were always on my mind' seems to fit well, but when you (if you ever fancy it..) read the lyrics the don't actually quite fit! Because I certainly didn't love being cancerous.

I've been putting off writing anything about it because it seems all too obvious and boring. But then that's just another excuse. I also have so many half started diaries lying around everywhere I don't really have to spill my guts here, but nobody but me really reads it anyway. Plus I've just had a Guiness and its only 5.20pm on a Tuesday, but thats cooking with booze for ya!

I'm really hoping that purging myself in words will make it all easier to cope with. I've got my first year scan coming up in a few weeks and find out the results on 1st December. I would (obviously) be absolutely totally gutted to be told it had come back. I find the prospect hard to even contemplate, as having had cancer in the first place must be to someone who is lucky enough not to have been prodded with the cancer stick.

The whole punching in the bone marrow, cancer, hair loss, throwing up, dry vagina, mouth ulcers, difficulty breathing, being unable to walk far, not being able to concentrate, unable to use my arms, loss of appetite, sleep deprivation, missing periods, weight gain, mood swings, tiredness, total and complete fear of death and being bloody angry with my useless body for even going there..is far to difficult to think of having to go through again. But then I am (so far) one of the lucky ones, many, many people go in and out of treatment for the whole of their sorry lives. I just don't want to be one of them.

I think around the time of having scans and the like I will always feel a little anxious, but there really is little that I can do about it. Just try not to dwell and thank the lord for each new day!

Oh my its been soooo long

2010-08-19T17:43:00.004+01:00

I really don't think anyone I know even checks this anymore, but i've just had such a lovely time reading about all my adventures, I thought i'd have to start it up again...and anyway it helps to keep writing and I need a project now that I am a lovely single mum!

So to update anyone who may want to listen...this is what I've been doing since I last wrote on here.

1. I have had the most amazing experience being a mum to my lovely Robin. She is just exactly what I asked for. Confident, noisy, dancy and singy! Brilliant. She fills my day with much laughter. Shes already 2 and a half now...the time has gone so quickly.

2. Trucker jim and I have not stayed together. Its was possibly the worst emotional turmoil ever and broke both our hearts, but now we are here we can both see the this is the best outcome. We are good friends and spend family time with Robin (which is really important to us).

3. I have a lovely two up - two down in my beloved Forest Fields. I've decorated all the rooms in spanking primary colours and made it a cosy little home.

4. For christ sake...I got cancer last year - Hodgkins Lymphoma. What a complete arse pain that was. Being ill for months beforehand and not knowing why, falling asleep all over the place, even on the two trips to Spain I managed in the month of February 2009. What a bitch. Completely bowled me over. My lovely friend Kim, the dancer, came to live in my living room and look after me and Robin. For that I am indebted to her for life. Six months of Chemo, throwing up, losing my hair, looking like shit, putting on weight from the drugs. Ugh. The worst thing was the fucking bone marrow test, shit that really hurt, having part of your bone punctured out - much worse than giving birth, whatever the nurses say. But I'm all better now, just got to get through the next 5 years of remission and I'm home free.

So that's it really. Perhaps I'll post more detailed accounts of the above things later...just wanted to start the ball rolling again xx

Freddies gone

2007-10-02T13:05:00.001+01:00

Boo, hoo - Freddie has finally gone. Was very sad to see the little tike on his way after all the expectations I'd heaped on him! He's gone to a new home in Plymouth and they love him, so that is a good thing! New things on the horizon then! At least we made a baby out of it!

It's not all that bad

2007-10-02T13:02:00.000+01:00

Well,

the benefits agency have re-jigged all the money stuff and are giving me a little more. More money for nappies!

Am totally scared at the moment by the whole experience.

Just came back from the end of the road festival (too much plinky plonky indie music - nice scenery though), Weymouth (ahh, lovely old people) and Normandy (with Dad and Nan - lovely). Back to the reality of trying to find somewhere for me and the baby to live - help me!

I'm alivE!!

2007-08-20T17:12:00.001+01:00

Well, I'm not in Europe no more...oh no!

The following has happened to make me more spaced out then ever:

1. Got inseminated by Truckerjim in Holland in the campervan (he says the hotel, but that's not rock and roll is it?).
2. Having a lovely birthday for Truckerjim, we decided to do a pregnancy test to help the birthday celebrations go with a bang...my period had been lost in the post! It was positive. Ahh!
3. Following a rock, drive, argue and roll, we decided to leave the lovely Slovakia, drive right across Hungary and enter the oh so exciting Serbia - madness, madness. We entered and saw the beautiful delights of downtown Belgrade, with the lovely poor people with bags on their feet scrabbling for rubbish and living in mud huts. Ahh, I had a panic attack and got straight out of there!
4. Then...(phew its all too much) we spent some lovely time in Croatia, in the sun, swinging in me hammock. Lovely, lovely...until we remembered that I was pregnant, and the driving started again. Straight through Slovenia (I know it's nice I'll go back one year). To the west coast of Italy, too many tourists, no free carparks. Then on and on through Switzerland (yes beautiful, no time to stop). Then on and on and on through France - does that country ever end?
5. Straight into the arms of me mates Cathygohome and Jessain'tshejustgreat! Oh how they comforted me and gave me nice dinners and cuddled me!

So now I'm living a comfortable existence on the dole (only made so because I don't have bills and can't drink much!). I'm knitting baby stuff and watching my lovely flat stomach swell and grow, yes that's swelling and growing!!!

Off to the oh so delightful Pompey for a 80's disco on the seafront. I'll be there with me one can of Guinness - just you stop me!

Wonderful, wonderful Slovakia

2007-06-12T10:32:00.000+01:00

Well, well. Here we are in the most beautiful place we've ever been to in our lives. We've spent the past week in the sublime natural beauty that is the Mala Fatra national park. Waterfalls, moutains, deer, bears, all crazy types of flying things, valleys!!! This is surely paradise on earth! As the literature says a Free Time Zone!!!

This week alone we've climbed 3 mountains bigger than Snowdon, and have been whizzing about on our new bikes! I've got a red one!!!! And Jim's is blue!!!!

Slovakia is a funny place, there are no old buildings becuase they just wait for their houses to get old, then build a new one in the back garden and knock down the first! They are all beautiful wooden houses we've been getting lots of ideas}, and the are such keen gardens, I've never seen lawns so green, flower beds so in bloom, or vegetable patches so tended! It's also not uncommon to see people working their land by hand, farmers and their wifes stooped over and tending to beds of green stuff, even hand crop spraying - amazing! People can be nice here, but there is a tendancy to look very stern and gruff!

P.s. we've put pictures on the other entries too!!

Brno and tons of beer!

2007-06-12T10:27:00.000+01:00

We had a swell time in Brno, yes another city, yes walking around in the heat...but oh my god!

We found a little beer festival with funny bands. There was the covers band singing in English, then the blues Cezch band with my mate from college Michael Thomas playing Bass in a way I've never seen bass played before. This guy rocked, jumping around for all his worth like he was a Nebworth!

We got drunker and drunker and couldn't really understand why until we looked at the percentage of the beer we were drinking which was 12!!!!!!!!!!!! And at only 30p!!!!!!!

We meet a lovely Czech guy who smoked a pipe and told us all about his crazy mother. We had only just missed seeing the Minister of Health heartily smoking and drinking!

Czeching in from Czech

2007-06-01T11:46:00.000+01:00

Hello, hello

First thing there are no explanation marks so ... is a few and the z are y...

Sorrz for not writing sooner but there was no java--- so couldn§t get it done...

We are in Cyech at the moment and it is so beautiful. The views are amaying and the flora and fauna is just too much. We have seen kingfishers, eagles, buyyards, stouts, swallows, koi, deer... The list goes on, its as if time has stood still here and just let nature get on with its own thing = which it kindof has with the ole communism thing, although not good for roads etc, great for forests and meadows...

We stayed at a ace campsite with a pond full of croaking fors, I§ve never heard anything like it. I know can see where Paul MacCartnez got the idea from...

The smaller places are the nicest and the waiteresses smile more. We went to Ceskz Krumlove, which is stunning but there are tourists coming out of the walls there so we made a hastz exit.... Plůs no opera, boo hoo...

We made a quick drive though Germanz to get here and accidentlz drove alongside the Rhine for quite a waz, what a magnificent river... We were stunned...

Freddie trauma continues to haunt us though. Ahh, after spending 400 euros on a wheel bearing the mysterious bump continued, then we were told it was the back wheels so we replaced them for 150 pounds and still the bump continues...so all we can do is keep on driving, nobody speaks english and what we need to explain is soooo complex... so fingers cross another wheel does not come flzing by....we§ve checked them all so should be ok.

There have been fantastic storms here, as I hear zou have had there. Very scarz when zou are inside something with a plastic roof, the noise is deafening.

There is a fantastic singing fountain in Marianske Lazne - it's got lots of different patterns and every odd hour it booms classical music and the patterns go along with the song, its beautiful and hillarious at the same time. Puts Nottingham's shitty little fountain to shame!! Check out the pics

Out tonight in Brno to let our hair down and have a boogie, then off to the much anticipated Slovakia for some fun in the mountains...

Why I love the Nederlands!

2007-05-13T19:06:00.000+01:00

Well, still in the throes (is this right?) of Freddie madness. The wheel falling off was solved by 815 euros, paid for in a combo of cash and 3 different cards! I don't think they meet people like us in the VW garage often! Then still more problems, the accident broke something else in a different wheel, so we are south, south Nederlands in a different VW garage!

Oh, but what fun we are having. Staying in another hotel are driving around in a courtesy car; a Mitsubishi space star, I've been zooming along at 125km! We are in the South Limburg region and it's lovely, our first sight of hills all week since Dover!

So...the Nederlands are a fantastic place to be in trouble; the Police are nice (their nee nors go: Nee Nah, Nee Nooorrrrr in a singing fashion); most people can speak to us in English (rubbish I know, but there isn't the sentence for "My wheel fell off" in our phrase book); the roads are fantastic and well signposted; the weather is amazing, raining, pooring, then brilliant sunshine, then raining again; they have fantastic waffels, pancakes and chocomel; people are generally nice and we can smoke pot!

We hope to pick our van up tomorrow, and are set straight for Czech land! Have got some pictures of poor Freddie, will put them on soon! And hello Miss Diva whoever you are!

News of Freddie

2007-05-11T09:11:00.000+01:00

Oh dear...

Happily driving along the Dutch motorway singing we make great pets, we realise that there is a loud bump, bump, bump and the van is vibrating so much I can't see the car behind in the wing mirror. We decide to exit the motorway and as we slow down and turn a corner we hear scrapping metal and our passenger back wheel flies past us. We act fast and drive onto a grass verge which helps us to stop, all very scary. Thankfully the lovely Dutch Politie Police where there to help us. You know what? The bloody, buggery, bastard man at Langley Mill (MOT untrustyworthy man) didn't put the wheel nuts on properly and they had been working their way loose ever since.

So...we are staying in a hotel and crying over the fact that the bill at the ever so posh VW garage is 1000 euros!!! Please say a prayer for us.

Well given that it is constantly pouring with rain here and we are running out of money, when we get our lovely Freddie back we will be making our way directly to the southern part of Europe to enjoy the beach, sun and beer we can afford....

Love to you allxx

Just look at our Freddie!

2007-05-07T15:37:00.000+01:00

Hello all!

We are on our way...still. Just chilling at Ninorsandali, (feeling a bit scared, we leave Wednesday at 9.30am, ahhh!). And just look at our Freddie, we've been very busy with him!!

On our way!

2007-04-29T18:12:00.000+01:00

Hello, hello!!

We are on our way to Europa!! We will be posting some pictures of our van soon, now it's all done - and even if I do say so myself it looks bloody gorgeous!!

I've been very slack and didn't even finish my tales of Morroco, but that was because I was too busy packing and delivering things to houses in Forest Fields - as some of you may have experienced.

So anyway...Morroco was great! Go to Mirleft!

So...we've been slumming it in Somerset with our heated indoor pool and sauna. Jim even got his willy out in the sauna - I was very impressed, mmm, mmm! We've been twitching - gardening boy take note - many Buzzards in Somerset!

Now we are seeing all these Pompey folks and taking in the sights of sunny Gosport!!!

So will post you all soon!!

Oh wonderful, wonderful Tafroute

2007-03-20T20:32:00.000Z

Well, what a absolutely fantastic place Tafroute was, is!

Not only was the drive their spectacular, it was a village nestled in the foothills of the anti-atlas. These mountains are red, golden, yellow, purple magnificent mountains. We ate a lovely flavoursome meal and slept in a hotel that cost a mere £1.30 a night. We instantly met fantastic Hussain whose wise wisdom and storytelling only sealed my love for the place.

We cycled to the Almen valley and I had a wedding in tradition house with Mohammed. We learnt how clever those Berber's are. Living above the animals for heat, and having a shoot direct from the kitchen to the animals, carrying all the vegetable waste. There was the beautiful guests room, which the family never slept in. They preferred to sleep in the hall, saving the best for guest!

Me and Missgohome spent some time scrubbing in the hammam, before the party for the Kings new daughter! We played Jingle Bells to the unsuspecting fantastic Berber musicians, who loved our well acted rendition! (Personally I think the absinthe and mint tea had something to do with it!)

Then finally a day spent walking in the valley of Ait Mansour. Where palm trees, small ponds and rocky mountains made the view. We saw the miles of burnt and black palm trees;

One day a infestation of crickets hit the valley. The elders lit a fire with incense to send the crickets on their way, but just then, a high wind blew up and the fire flew away. Off and off the fire spread burning everything in its path. The Berbers could only scrabble onto the mountains and watch the fire engulf their paradise valley. Finally when the fire had eaten everything it died down, to leave only palm trees living, their trunks scorched and black.

So for a piece of Berber wisdom: 'Slowly, slowly, put the camel in the pot!'

Marrakeshi Madness

2007-03-07T19:43:00.000Z

Noise, smells, noise, smells, animals, more noise, smells and animals!

Fantastic Marrakech. What an amazing hubbub. The spices and perfumes waft across the whole city. There are cats, monkeys, hedgehogs, more cats, donkeys, snakes, cats still more, tortoise, horses, ...cats, dogs, chameleons, birds, big storks and cats. Acrobats and drummers, story tellers, berber henna ladies (who will attack you until you relent), little boys with pleading eyes, snake charmers, tarot readers and cats. Food stalls with snails, couscous, tajine, bread, soup, omlette, sheeps head (ugg), but no cats on the menu! The men, oh, even hissing sex, sex, sex. What do they think will happen? The daily dose of vitamin c with fresh squeezed orange juice.

It was so hot, about 27. Ohh! After 4 days and a big dose of vomiting lamb and prunes, I was ready for the off. But ohh, wonderful exotic Marrakech.

Now for the south....

Hey I'm Hyperventilating

2007-02-27T13:47:00.000Z

It's so exciting I'm off to Morocco tonight for two lovely weeks. I can't wait. I can hardly breathe! It's 80 degrees. Today I'm in knee high Doc Martens trudging through the rain, tomorrow I'll be in sandals sunning myself!!!!!

I'll keep you posted on all the excitment to come xx

The Great RNLI Adventure or How to Find an Elephants Tusk

2007-02-07T20:04:00.000Z

“Come one, come all!” cried Samuwell dancing and pointing at a far off beach. “I’m sure we can make it if we try…what’s the worst that can happen eh?”

So sure enough 3 likely ladies turned up their hands and volunteered themselves for the adventure. Myself, of course, Missgohome and Manyhobbiesonelady. We were sure we’d be fine, even as we started to take off our socks and shoesies. One of us was feeling very smug that she had sensibly worn her new wellies that day…oh if only she’d known!

We were explorers, searching terrain that people surely hadn’t walked on for years. It was almost pre-historic and filled with many wonderful delights. Up and over, up and over so many towering edifices.

We found magical pink pools…filled with underwater flowers.

Caves with scores of layers from years we had never known.

Rocks that disguised themselves cunningly as wood!

Happily we went until…uh oh! Manyhobbiesonelady drew blood on her finger. We realised that we had been walking for hours and as the first drop of blood mingled with the water, we felt dread creeping on us.

“But surely we haven’t got much further to go? The beach can’t be far now?”

Then we found the best thing of all…is it a elephants tusk?…No whale rib…no it can’t be…well it can’t be an elephants tusk, we’re in Wales!

So we set about carrying the whale rib. Off on our adventure again, we merrily struggled to get the whale rib on to the next ridge of rock. Then oh, disaster again!

I nearly died! Oh yes, it’s true. Trying to squeeze myself far above land on a horizontal crop of rock, I slipped, I nearly went. But oh my loves Missgohome grabbed me leg and Manyhobbiesonelady held me shoulder. I was saved!!!!!!! (Yes I just had a little wee after that incident, not in my clothes though!)

So after near death and spilt blood, we were ready for anything. “We can’t go back now, we’ve gone too far.”

So on we trudged. I filled my boot with water, while Samuwell cunningly removed his trousers to save them from the sea.

As we slipped down a sheet of rock we slowly realised that we couldn’t go any further, the sea was rising, we couldn’t go back. We were trapped!

“Help, help”. Now here is the annoying bit. Tweedle Dee heard us and exclaimed “Is that the missing party calling out.” “No can’t be.”

If we’d of only swum round the corner we would have made it to the beach…we think!

So close to freedom, yet so far. As the sea rose, bugger it, lets call the RNLI!

So that’s just what we did. One hour later, cold and feeling very small a big orange boat came, with men in helmets who carried us through the cold sea to safety. Samuwell who so carefully had saved his trousers instantly dropped them in the water!!

And I hear you ask…”What of that whale rib?”

Well, on dry land we found a placard describing a shipwreck 100 years earlier with a cargo of baby elephant tusks! And we’d found one, 100 years later! We cheered up enormously, had fish and chips and went off to the local barn dance!!

We made the observer!

2007-01-29T22:17:00.000Z

Hey!

Nottingham made the observer on Sunday, with there non-sensational news story 'The sound of sirens'! Go check it out! http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,,1998476,00.html It does go on a bit though!

Ladies on laudanum

2007-01-25T17:27:00.000Z

Oh me, oh my.
What with this ladies suffrage?

Votes for women and burn your bra!
We want equal rights and equal pay!
No longer shall we squander our days away,
With trifling ladies escapades.

To hell with these easels,
And throw to the winds our needles,
7 and a half hours each day
With work we will have our say!

O bloody bollocks,
These stupid trollops.
What did they think,
When they kicked up this almighty stink?

Now we cry…
We need more time!
Oh give me my tincture
Of laudanum any day!

Knee capping in Nottingham

2007-01-23T11:32:00.000Z

What, oh what has happened to one of our locals the Elm Tree? The manager has gone and they've all gone mad! On Friday someone was knee capped. The screaming we heard was horrific. Have the IRA come to town? This is not nice, it's only a few streets away from my home. Why, oh why can't people just be nice?

Funnier than me!

2007-01-18T10:37:00.000Z

Don't you just hate it when someone is funnier than you? You try to be all coy and move into the kill slowly, but then someone just railroads in and makes everyone laugh harder than ever.

Well that, my friends, has just happened to me. And did I laugh! I snorted, I guffawed, I almost wet myself and then I realised that they were upstaging me!

With names like Herbal Tea Monitor Man and Bun Man...how can I compete? Just take a look at the comments on my blog's and you'll see what I mean!

Please keep them coming, lets see if you can be funnier than me old pa!

Freddie Year

2007-01-15T22:47:00.000Z

Yes, that's right. This year it's... Freddie year. The year of the 7, 2007 is going to be a good year. People will learn new things and meet new people. Me and Trucker are off in our Freddie to see the sights across the water, play at being hippies, strumming our guitar on the Adriatic coast. It's such a wonderful thing.

And for all you out there without a Freddie, you can enjoy one through knowing me and my Trucker.

Off me head - Ginkgo Biloba

2006-12-11T20:36:00.000Z

Deary, deary me. There I was naively thinking that herbal supplements were all safe. Well oh me, oh my.

For a complete out of body experience I would recommend;

One night of average drinking
A 'toss and turn' night sleep
One 6000mg super strength Ginkgo Biloba tablet.

Nearly blew me head off. For all you ravers out there, not even sure this should be recommended as a herbal high, you might just have a heart attack. The effects lasted from 10 in the morning, until about 2pm. What!!!

Think I may have a chat to my Doctor about this!

Cat goes all Spanish on your arse

2006-12-04T19:04:00.000Z

Well, there was once this lovely little fluffy cat, called...cat. She had the most fantastical journey flying across her home country, seeing the sights, the green, green grass, the towns and railways. She heard the ryanair babes tell her how to suck on air should a mass air collision happen. And read about the other places she could go to on this glorious ship in the sky...

When she was set down safely in sunny Girona, she tried out her sparkling Spanish on the Barcelona Bus girls.

"Hola, por favor, quiero, uno.........hablo ingles? Ahh,...un billet? Returno!"

She enjoyed the bus ride, reveling in the humpbacked mountains around Barcelona. And the glorious golden evening light.

At the estacion de autobuses, she helped some Spanish tourists to find the Placa de Catalunya on the metro, called her friend and settled down to a nice cup of cafe con leche y croissant de chocolate!

After a good ole dinner and a heavy sleep, cat walked out into the Spanish noon sunshine and flipped off to see the hippy city. She prowled through the streets. Winding through the narrow tall streets, saw the Forno's, the ice cream parlour, the American, Japanese, French tourists. She lay next to the Catedral and sniffed the infinite smells on lampposts and large brick buildings!

After all this excitement cat decided that the only thing to do was go to a Spanish Rock Party - the Pink Flamingo!! After a very small amount of cerveza for a little catty, she was whisked off past Fontana on the metro for a night full of delights. There she drunk again a tiny amount of cerveza (you know these English pussies like their booze!), and chatted to a pretty Chilean gata. The rock was very interesting and they all made lots of effort and dressed up and everything! She even saw the infamous band Toxica at their home studio..

She saw many more things...all Spanish. Big lobsters ....nice for cat! Shopping baskets that could turn into trolleys and boats in the harbour.

But what the little pretty dittsie catty wanted to see most of all was Mi Amigo Mali!

God damn men

2006-11-16T16:23:00.000Z

Why oh why do some men feel the need to press their advances? Can't they just be gentlemen? Do they really think they can just grab you and ram their tongue down your throat and as you pull away hold you harder? Where is the respect? If they think they have a chance why don't they do nice things like come for tea and listen to Marilyn Monroe. Now that's romance.

Oh dear - give me some inspiration!

2006-11-09T18:42:00.000Z

Oh dear,

What a bad blogger. Here I am going about my daily stuff in the forest and not sharing it with you all. I do need to tell you that me and Missgohome have decided that we simply cannot possibly afford to jet set all the way to Cuba...so instead we are gatecrashing Treegirls trip to Morocco. Can't be bad can it? Also I think Treegirl is a damn site more level headed and may pull us in line. I think I will have much fun being rubbed down in a Moroccan sauna. If only we were going tomorrow.

The weather here is all wintery and already I've had a scrape the ice off my car. It's just no good. I'm sure I will be inspired to write about some things sometime soon. Like the RNLI scandal, or Monty from Montserrat.

I like it when people post comments - so more of that please!

All the wildlife in Britian is in Cornwall - no really!

2006-10-24T20:37:00.000+01:00

Were you wondering where all the wildife had got to? Living in a city makes a person feel the only animals left are pigeons, dogs, cats and rats! I mean I did some some fantastic bees and there was the odd jenny wren (god damn she's pretty), but that's just about it. Imagine going to a lush tropical place....

Where you can dance in the sun and smell the glorious smell of the British summer time. I was amazed to feel like I was 5 again exploring the undergrowth to stumble across a beautiful butterfly...

And smell a glorious flower... or two

With the warm sun's glow massaging my back I walked hand in hand with my beau, only to come across the most beautiful of all creatures...the fantastic Mr Dragonfly!

Grain, what, ho!

2006-10-15T15:04:00.000+01:00

Well if you want the time of your life dancing to some groovy beats you could do no better than Grain. Getting better all the time, with their fabulous dress sense and exciting calls for 'bring out the banjo!', you'll have a night to remember. Loved by all from coal miners to rich hippes...they will blow you off your feet.

For a once in a life time opportunity to hear these fantastic notes log onto www.myspace.com/grainuk

Take a few minutes to listen to the rip roaring 'Campany Name', the changing beautifable 'Choke on the leaf', the oh don't you just love banjos and why aren't there more tunes with harmonicas 'gone fishin', and the fantabulous instrumentalist asianistic beat boxing 'ello pickle'.

Theres more, always more. I'm sure they'd love to come and play with you!

How to fly all the way to Edinburgh and not see Radiohead

2006-10-12T16:12:00.000+01:00

We, theres me and the dancer all jazzed up and excitied at the prospect of seeing ole' Thom in all his finest moaning in his delectible way through songs we all know and love.

We flew (bad, bad girls) all the way to Edinburgh and put up our one and a half man tent, drunk our bottles of ale and slept soundly, knowing that soon we would be singing along to all those fine tunes!

Oh, and Beck! Did I forget to tell you that Beck was playing too! He sounded superb. Sung songs I'd danced to for a good 10 years and some I didn't know besides. Me and the dancer moving our funky fings in time to the beats. Despite, and I say despite the other un-enthusiastic British crowd who barely moved an eyebrow throughout the whole performance.

(What is it with the damn British, they pay good money to see a band they know and love and then feel too embarrased to dance at all. I mean its not as if anyone will say 'look at that twat dancing to such and such a band'. I mean you've paid good money to see them, you obviously like them! Anyway enough of that old rant.)

So as were...Um...So Beck finished and we were hungry for more. We want Thom! So off we trot to the Beer tent to buy some more disgusting alcohol in plastic cups. Already far too drunk for modest English ladies...I think we started sashaying at this point...we went off in search of some fun.

Well oh dear...As soon as Beck started playing we run around the concert like little imps, with the dancer pinching everyone's bottoms. We hardly heard a moan from Thom, so intent were we on having a good ole' drunken time! A snog or two later (well we'd never done it when we were younger), I was becoming aware that I could barely hear Thom in the background. I love his music, but obviously for me this time it was the booze that won the day. I even heard that Thom stopped a song half way through, but we never noticed!

So to be honest the best way to fly all the way to Edinburgh and not see Radiohead is to get unbelievably pissed and fool around like you was 12. We did have a good time!!

Gardening Boy bought wood!

2006-10-10T19:03:00.000+01:00

Despite my moaning, you kick start my serotonin.
Don't trust dealers who promise you that the world is good, they will sell you wood!
Poor gardening boy x

Dogs

2006-09-21T18:46:00.000+01:00

Bloody god damn dogs.

Some of them are nice, thank you, very much. But others are child eating slavering maniacs desperate for a piece of meat and to give you a good dose of post traumatic stress syndrome.

Ahh...I scream as I try and stare down a pitbull (how can you ever stare down a pitbull?) It jumps up and down on it's massively muscley little silly legs 'woof..woof'. Well woof does not seem enough to explain the terryfing noise it was making.

I'm almost crying, when ah, ha. I spy it is wearing one of those plastic lampshade things on its head. Suddenly my 'shit, I'm terrified smell', gives way to a 'huh, I've got you bastard smell'. It can't bite me cause it can't get it's nose past the end of it's silly hat. My eyes narrow while the dog's widen. Triumphant, I also realise that my car door opens so it will be between me and the dog. Shaking I get the key in and climb into my skodacaddilac quick smart.

Smiliar tales like this are shaking newspaper stands across the country 'Man gets eaten alive by own dog', 'Child made into spaghetti string'. Yes see you get the point.

Now a nice greyhound...mmm!

Technology is never tamed

2006-09-18T20:57:00.000+01:00

Please be patient. Technology is never tamed. I'm trying to give you details of the fantastic Missgohome and God damn Dogs, but the computer is having flibberty jibberts and will refuse to upload picture of Missgohome and slavering dogs. Perhaps theres too many cyber junkies out there and the tubes have got all mashed up?

Missgohome

2006-09-18T18:58:00.000+01:00

Famed for her 'I'm going home now...No I really am going home now'. Which is not really so fair, because lately we have been calling her more Missstayoutlater. But Missgohome sticks more I feel. And it makes us laugh!

She is a fantastically fun person, who will never commit to anything until the last minute. Apart from the one and only time of New Zealand - umm...you can see why she's choosy!

You will see her name mentioned all over these blogs, because unfortunately for her I do manage to drag her into all sorts of scrapes (see New Zealand and coming soon the RNLI fiasco!)

A fine gin drinker, you can see her falling about in fields all over the Midlands having lost all feeling in both legs. But at least she's always smiling and she does drag you down with her...which is fun!

She also shrifty with her pennies too and can make a pound go on and on. Go on try and get her to buy you a drink!!! Although to be fair I'm just as bad!

Missgohome's saying of the month: 'How very dare you!'

The Great New Zealand Adventure or how to get busted

2006-09-16T13:52:00.000+01:00

It's the furthest I've ever been...New Zealand. Me and Missgohome flying across great war zones and countries where they listen to bad dance music. A big bloody plane. The greatest thing was that there was a camera filming the take-off and landings, so we got a pilots view in a tiny tv in the seat in front!

What could go wrong? We landed in Dubai, a very strange place, lots of rolex adverts. We had a stop over and thought nothing of rolling a small joint and walking around the hotel grounds. And then back on the plane to stop in Malaysia - no gun crime there. I got hold of a local newspaper and on the front page was a report of a student getting his jeans and trainers stolen. But he'd left them outside his flat! A big hunt was on for the fashion conscious thief! They should live where I do, things get stolen all the bloody time!

So a quick fag in Australia (I'm always trying to stop smoking by the way!). And on for fantastic New Zealand. Me and Missgohome were almost pissing our pants in excitement, we'd been travelling for two days. And there is something to be said for breathing fresh air!

Finally we arrived in New Zealand. I couldn't wait to get off the plane, the views were breath taking, four whole weeks of pure holiday freedom!

So we 'touched down' (oh an americanism, how sweet!). Straight away, as soon as I was showing the guy my passport, this lovely dog starts sniffing around me. Ahh, they know! I pat the dog and tell the guy how dogs love me (see dog posting to come later!). He just pulls me over and asks if I've got any drugs on me. Well no sir, can't you see I'm a sweet British woman with great credentials!

Apparently not. They nabbed Missgohome too. And many thanks to her she stuck by me. We were wailing and crying while they searched our bags and threatend us with jail. It was terrifying. We got naked and were filmed all puffy eyed and sad for ourselves. What a tit!

So the story goes that we did get back to the good ole U of K. Much less triumphant than we'd left. We watched 25 odd take off and landings of the small tv and didn't breath fresh air for a week. Air conditioning is killing the world. On the way back those crazies in Dubai gave us a load of hassle and I prayed to the Lord to save my arse - thankfully he's a good man!

Missgohome and I off to Cuba in January, so watch out for more fantastic tales of Forest Trips and Missgohome!

Gardening Boy

2006-09-16T12:55:00.000+01:00

I wanted to give an introduction to each of the Forest Crew. Tune in each week to see updates on your favourite characters, see what great adventures they get up to, and sample a piece of their mind!

What a fantastic person gardening boy is. A great twitcher. See his eyes light up as a buzzard, sparrow or blackbird circles overhead.

He wears a khaki baseball cap, covering his beautiful grey long hair. A fashion conscious dude, who mixes khaki trousers with khaki t-shirts!! We all love gardening boy for his great sense of humour, and he is my confidant. He has advice on everything from birds to boys!!

The other day I asked him for some hot sex tips (although he has not had it in a very long time) and his suggestion blew me away. He advised I get naked and wear a utility belt, a hard hat and be strumming a large vibrating power tool. He said it would get the trucker all hot under the collar!! I've not tried it yet, but theres always time.

Text message of the day: I'm in my room....having been forced to lay down my copy of Graham Green's the third man as I'm closely surrounded by babbling fools disturbing my minds narrative.....I'm finding it increasingly difficult to hold my tongue and tightly coiled muscles......How r u?

Well what comic genius....you don't get them like that everyday do you.......

Trying to give a view of myself

2006-09-16T12:08:00.000+01:00

Hi,

I'm just trying to post a picture of myself on here. Everything is just so damn hard! If I put a picture on here, then I can transfer it in cyber space to my profile!

Please stay tuned for up and coming adventures of....

The First

2006-09-15T19:47:00.000+01:00

Well here we are.

Somehow I've ended up with my own blog, where I've promised exciting and funny things to re-appear. I'm not sure how I will manage it at all!

I'm not even particularily computer literate, but I'm seem to have done ok here!

And all on the day when Carl and Susan finally kissed. This is on the incredibly good and well acted show Neighbours (if you didn't already know!) They spilt over two years ago and ever since then I knew...oh well.

I've got 'gardening boy' and 'house man' coming round in a minute (this is all to protect their identity incase madmen want to come and party with us too). I've been ordered by house man to make some dinner for him, but I've only got pasta for 2 and I think there are 3 of us. Nevermind!